Hoisted from the Althouse comments:

Obama is the messiah, he cometh with truth.

He taxeth the wealthy and giveth me new programs.

He taketh not my paltry earnings, but giveth me the money earneth by others.

He endeth the war and retreateth from victory.

He speaketh with mine enemies, both great and minor.

He asketh them to forbear and desist.

He taketh the profits of oil companies and keepeth it for the government.

He lowereth the price of gasoline by making it more difficult to drilleth for oil.

He opposeth fracturing the atom to generate electricity, but demandeth that my car be powered by electrons.

He transcendeth race by declaiming his whitheth mother and grandethparents who raiseth him after his blacketh father skeedaddleth back to Africa.

He associateth with radicals and crooks, both blacketh and whiteth, ignoring their color and loveth only their influence and money.

He promiseth anything in the name of vote seeking.

He lieth through his teeth.