The Quantum Mechanic

I nominate this for post of the month in misc.legal.moderated:

I recently lost a friendly wager to my wife. If I’d won, she had to take my car for its next oil change. Not too bad, right? Unfortunately, I lost. Now, I’m supposed to go to a local convenience store wearing a French maid’s outfit, handcuffs and leg irons with a note offering me up to do some light cleaning. Basically, the idea is that I don’t get the keys to the cuffs unless I come home with a note from the clerk at the store telling my wife that I made good on the bet.

My wife is going to call the store first to make sure they don’t mind my coming in, so I’m not worried that management will complain that I’m causing a disturbance or anything like that. I’ll probably go late at night, when there are likely to be fewer customers anyway. As for the maid’s outfit my wife bought for this occasion — as embarrassing as it is, it isn’t in any way revealing, so I can’t imagine there’s anything illegal about wearing that in public. And I’m assuming there isn’t a legal problem with me wearing the cuffs.

But, put it all together and it’s likely to be a pretty strange sight. So, my concern is what happens if I’m at Sunoco or wherever my wife sends me and a police officer shows up just to get a cup of coffee or whatever. Would I be in violation of any laws that I may not be aware of? Or, in other words, do I need to be worried about being arrested simply because this is so far out of the ordinary?

Aside from the bizarreness, I wouldn’t want this guy doing any negotiations for me. Win and your wife has to take the car for an oil change, lose and you have to do that? Not particularly comparable outcomes.